Falling Fast
by The Flying Red Panda
Summary: He wondered how she did that. How she could make one smile fill him with envy, and one tear break his heart into pieces. -NOW A TWO-SHOT-
1. Chapter 1

Wally wasn't sure when he fell in love with Kuki.

It might've been the first time Kuki had kicked his butt at video games. Or the time he had been forced to say 'I love you' as Mr. Huggykins. He wasn't sure.

All he knew was that the traits he used to hate had become endearing, and that her smile made his day beautiful, while her tears made it sad.

Somehow she managed to crack open his hardened heart, wiggle herself inside, and then seal his heart back up, making it impossible to get her out.

He hated her for that.

He had hated her at first. He hated all things girly and sweet, the very definition of her being. Still did for that matter.

They say there's a thin line between love and hate.

Wally didn't believe that.

It didn't make sense to him. How could you hate something you loved?

How could you love something you hate?

His ideas changed a little when he fell in love.

Not that he _wanted _to fall in love. Before he met Kuki, he had never felt like he was missing anything, like he needed something more in life.

To be fair, he was a young child. No boy dreams of finding his other half when he's young.

Wally hated being the exception. Absolutely _hated _it.

And yet he loved it at the same time.

He didn't understand how he could hold two conflicting emotions at the same time. He didn't like it.

He liked when his emotions were clear, straightforward. Then he could act on them, punch something; _do_ something to get rid of the feelings.

He couldn't get rid of this.

He tried. He tried _hard_ to shake his feelings. He denied them, fought them, fought _her_.

He pushed her away, _hurt _her. Trying to force her away from him, out of his heart.

It didn't work. _Nothing _worked. The more he pushed, the tighter her hold on him was.

Eventually he gave up. Resigned himself to loving her.

He still pushed her away, still denied his feelings for her, but it was a half-hearted attempt.

He still couldn't bring himself to admit his love for her.

He doubted that he ever would.

He hated himself for that.

The days went by, slipping by faster and faster, heralding the end.

Decommissioning.

_Decommissioning. _

He hated that word. Hated all that it implied.

The dreaded day arrived. He had promised himself, no matter what, he would tell her. He would admit to the world, scream from the rooftops that he loved her.

He didn't.

He hated himself for that too.

Hated that he was a coward.

But he was relieved by it at the same time.

Relieved that his love for Kuki was just a suspicion – a suspicion that could now never be confirmed.

She would never know.

He would never be rejected.

Or accepted.

He wondered which was worst. Being rejected by love, or being eternally plagued by 'what ifs?'

It didn't much matter anymore.

He heard the order to begin the decommissioning. Slowly, then gaining speed, his memories faded. At first he sat by passively, resigned.

Then his memories of Kuki appeared.

As they scrolled through his mind, Wally felt a new feeling fill his core.

Longing.

Desperation.

_Regret. _

He was suddenly anxious, unwilling to let his memories go _just _yet. He grasped at them desperately, begging them to stay.

They didn't listen.

As he watched them flow past, he regretted the time he had spent hating her. He wished he had spent that time loving her.

_Loving _her.

He wondered if it was too late to tell her.

_Regret. _

Pain stabbed his heart over and over. Unrelenting. Uncaring.

His heart cracked open.

A bright happy girl, wearing a green shirt that was far too big on her appeared.

As she tugged herself through the crack, a bit of her shirt ripped off.

The girl frowned.

Wally wished she would smile again.

After a quick examination the girl shrugged, and skipped away.

He had no idea who she was, but he knew deep inside he wanted her, _needed _her.

She didn't know that.

So she left his heart, leaving a wide-open crack, and a faint remembrance of the girl he used to love.

_Still _loved.

Who _was_ she?

Sunshine.

Smiles.

Hugs.

_She liked those…_

Sunshine.

Smiles.

_Who liked them…?_

Sunshine.

Slipping, sliding, _losing. _

Going.

Going.

_Gone. _

**

* * *

This is what bounces around in my head at 2 AM. **

**Be afraid. **

**Be **_**very **_**afraid. **

**~Andra **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: This is hellopandaluver's fault. Again. Blame her. :D **

**This takes place pretty much exactly where the first chapter left off. Wally was just decommissioned, and is currently still seated in his decommissioning chair.**

**I also decided to write part of this at 2 in the morning, and part today after school. Sorry if it seems weird. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Codename KND. However, Christmas **_**is **_**coming up, so who knows? **

* * *

Wally opened his eyes.

A red haired girl stood before him, with flyaway red hair and a scowl set on her face.

Her shirt was green.

He liked green.

She waved her hand at him impatiently, gesturing for him to get up.

Disoriented, he followed the red haired girl, despite not knowing where he was.

She took him to a room where a black-haired girl was waiting, faint tear tracks apparent on her cheeks.

He felt a tug on his heart.

She approached him slowly, fearfully.

What was she afraid of?

As she got closer, the smell of jasmine filled his nose.

It was a nice smell.

Familiar.

She was wearing a green shirt too.

He liked the color green.

She held out a green clad hand.

He stared at it distrustfully.

Tears welled in her eyes.

His heart tugged again.

He wished she would smile.

Slowly, haltingly, he accepted her hand.

It was warm.

Why did it feel so perfect?

So _right?_

He wondered who she was.

Did he know her?

He didn't think he did. He wasn't friends with many girls. He hated girls and all things girly.

They say there's a thin line between love and hate.

Wally didn't believe that.

You would never catch him admitting he loved a girl.

_Ever. _

Why did that feel like a lie?

Why did he feel so _empty? _

Wally paused a moment, taking stock of his situation.

His birthday was today.

Why couldn't he remember it?

He thought harder.

Nothing.

Couldn't he remember anything?

Yes, he could remember being five.

And a boy…

Hoagie.

He used to play with Hoagie. Wally wondered why he hadn't been over there recently. And someone else…

Abby.

She went to his kindergarten. She was nice, and a member of a club of some kind. Kids Next something.

Why couldn't he remember?

He turned his attention back to the girl leading him through hallways and down stairs.

She was speaking.

She had a nice voice.

He couldn't seem to concentrate on anything.

He caught a couple words.

_Decommissioning. _

_Operatives. _

_Love. _

Love?

His face scrunched up with disgust. She was one of those cruddy girls who loved all things girly. Why was she talking about love? Did she love someone?

Her face crumbled.

His heart tugged again. Why did he feel bad?

He didn't know her.

Again he wondered where he was. Where he was going.

He hated not knowing.

He wished he could release his feelings.

He wanted to punch something.

That wall would do.

The girl's mouth dropped open.

Wally growled. That hadn't helped.

The feeling of emptiness still lingered.

He _hated _it.

The girl looked scared again.

Of what?

Of _him?_

He didn't want her to fear him.

Did he?

Why was she so _familiar?_

Did he know her?

Why couldn't he _remember?_

He fell to the ground, his back pressed to the cool metal wall.

"Wally?"

Her voice rang out, unsteady, hesitant.

She knew him?

"Who are you?"

Might as well get that question out of the way first. He'd find out where he was and where he was going later.

Tears gathered in her eyes.

She seemed to cry a lot.

Why was she so sad?

"D-Don't you remember?"

"I don't remember anything."

That was true. His whole life from kindergarten through third grade was painfully non-existent.

_I want to remember. _

"Do you remember?"

He cursed his voice. It sounded pitiful, pleading.

Desperate.

He _needed _the hole inside him filled. Something was missing, something _important. _

Precious.

The girl was talking again. Filling the silence with words and stories. The more she talked, the madder he got.

Was she crazy?

Moonbase?

Missions?

Secret organization?

What the _crud _did all that stuff mean?

She was making his misery a joke.

She was mean.

He was pretty sure he didn't like this girl.

Even though she smelled good.

And had a pretty voice.

"Stop it." his voice rang out. "Stop _lying._ Just tell me the truth."

His voice sounded loud.

Angry.

_Cruel. _

Hurt spread across her face.

More tears.

She slumped to the ground, agony written across her face.

Wally felt a tiny bit of remorse.

He hadn't spoken too harshly…

Had he?

She was wailing now.

He stood there awkwardly.

His heart broke open a little more.

Any bigger and he thought he would break.

Slowly he seated himself next to the girl.

Instinct took over.

One arm reached out to wrap around her shoulders.

She sighed and snuggled into him.

_Wait… What?_

His brain went into overdrive.

What was he _doing?_

She was a cruddy _girl._

A pretty cruddy girl.

Who smelled good.

Whatwas he _doing?_

Was he… _hugging _her?

Why did her hug feel so familiar?

Why couldn't he make himself stop?

Why didn't he _want _to stop?

He started to cry.

He felt ashamed.

Tired.

_Weak. _

He never cried. And yet here he was, blubbering along side a girl he thought he knew, but couldn't seem to remember.

The girl's tears stopped.

Slowly, slowly she lifted his hand, and pressed her lips against it ever so softly.

His breath caught in his throat.

Who _was _this girl?

Wally was determined to find out.

**

* * *

A/N: Warning. Side effects of decommissioning include temporary disorientation and the lack of ability to focus. **

**Sucky ending, I know. **

**On a brighter note, only 3 days until Christmas! I'm so excited!**

**~Andra **


End file.
